Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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