Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Randomize
