I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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