one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
