Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
