she sounds like chewbacca in bed
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
