I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
