I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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