I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
