believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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