I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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