Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
