How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
why do cheetos always look like penises
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
