I can tuck mytits in my pants
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch