I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
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I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
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Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit