Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is