: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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