Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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