I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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