my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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