something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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