3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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