Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
