the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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