This is not my ceiling
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
