I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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