Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
