the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
