If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
