apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
