I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
