i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
