you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There r osticjed everywhere
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
where are my eyebrows?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
