Im at strip club and am horny
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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