Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
