We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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