Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
BRING THE BAGELS
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
