It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
