i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
