respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You ruined the universe
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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