just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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