And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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