I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
