Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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