you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize