You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
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