and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
