dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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