I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
