I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
