You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
