You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
