worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize