were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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