My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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