turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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