he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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