Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
