gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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