Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Holy shit dude........stairs
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize