Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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