we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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